Our Lord! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in faith and put not in our hearts any hatred against those who have believed Our Lord! You are indeed full of kindness, merciful” Q59:10.

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say, ‘my Lord bestow on them your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young”Q17: 23-24.

The Prophet said: “The young who respect not old is not part of us and old who have no mercy for our young is not part of us”

Allah has warned: “O you who believe ask not about things which if revealed to you would cause you trouble, though if you ask them while the Quran is being sent down, they will be revealed to you. Allah has left them out and Allah is most Forgiving, Forbearing”. Q5:101.

The case of how to show respect to our parents might have fallen into those issues which Allah has left out not to cause us this problem or turn us to disbelievers.

Different opinions and diverse views among Muslims according to the Prophet is a blessing, but for some people to try forcing their view about the issue that Allah or Prophet has not accord clear cut injunction is unwelcome.

It is true that Islam corrects unwholesome cultural practices and reject some out rightly, most importantly the one it found among Arabs of its inception. There is no record that the Prophet forbids at any time the greeting Islam met among the Arabs of his time, meaning that their mode of greeting was o.k., but Arabs are not the only culture that have good greeting even if theirs is the best. Islam gives way to ranking and there are stages of degree of worship and deeds in Islam.

Here in our culture, the mode of greeting and showing respect to parents and elders is for girls to kneel down and boy to prostrate and say the relevant words to the greeting. We don’t and can’t do this to our age mates and colleague and there must be difference. It is our expression of genuflection to parents, teachers and elders with a clear intention of respect and not of worship. And Islam does not oppose greeting of respect. Indeed the Prophet said: “The young should greet the old…”(Bukhari).

Teaching to oppose and refusing this greeting of respect has been showing discord and problems among families and between old and young even between teachers and students. Such a case that has no direct impact on act of worship or faith should not be allowed to disrupt the peace of family and society which Islam primes much on.

Many greetings of respect through different forms of prostrations were reported in the Quran without Allah or the Prophets concerned or Prophet Muhammad(SAW) condemning them or tagging them as shirk, such as Angels prostrating for Adam-Q2: 29; Brothers of Prophet Yusuf bowing for him- Q12: 88; Magicians of Pharaoh prostrating for Moses-Q20:70, which are all sign of respect and acceptance of the superiority of the Prophets, and not act of worshiping them or taking them as God.

Nowhere in the Quran forbids bending head, or knee or lowering oneself or prostrating for parents and elderly or teachers in greeting with respect, because the motive is understood. And to name any Muslim who bend in one way or the other with intention of showing respect to parent, teacher or elder a disbeliever or polytheist is wrong and extremism. What is forbidden about dealing with parent has been clearly stated: “And We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; but if they strive to make you associate that with Me of which you has no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall inform you of what you did.” Q29: 8.

But some great scholars are of the opinion that such greeting and act of respect has been ‘abrogated’ for no just cause yet with no direct order in the Quran or explicit verdict of the Prophet and most importantly no direct consequence or punishment attached for any defaulter of the act.

The verse of Quran of their choice is: “And the (Mosajida) mosques are for Allah alone, so invoke not anyone along with Allah” Q72:18.

Their argument is that the word ‘Mosajida’ which simply means mosques, here means and includes all the limbs with which we worship Allah including the place mosques. Which they further prove with reference to some Arabic dictionary that fall in line with this attributed meaning in their definition.

But it should be realized that the word Mosjid is Islamic and only came through Quran. It is part of vocabulary Quran gives to Arabic language. If the Prophet has not at any time or occasion say Mosjid is equal to limb then all meaning awarded by the great scholar are mere opinion and the writers of dictionary only based their meaning on what is existing among people. He is neither Sahaba nor Tabihin. No one can claim to know or speak absolutely the mind of Allah in such respect.

Other facts presented are hadiths, for instance the hadith of ‘a man who came to the Prophet reporting his two camels that grew wild and so locked them up. He has come so that the Prophet could pray that they be calm. The Prophet and some Sahaba went with him to see what was happening. On reaching there, the man opened the door to see, but to his surprise one of the camels came forward and knelt gently before the Prophet. The man then reasoned and said, ‘if camel with no sense of judgment could submit to the Prophet, are we men not stand better to do so’? But the Prophet forbade him saying, ‘Allah has not instructed that people should knee down for him, and had he wish to order that, he would have order a wife to knee for her husband’.

Another hadith is that of Muadh who returned from city of Sham, when he went to give the report of his journey to the Prophet. On meeting him he bowed for the Prophet but the Prophet forbade him. He told the Prophet that from where he arrived, people used to bow in respect to their leaders and teachers and that the Prophet stands in better position to that. Yet the Prophet rejected the excuse.

There is no doubt that the Prophet understood what those people are saying and have done, that it was all show of respect and greeting, that was the reason he did not condemn those who were doing it or attach a penal to the act or say any bad consequence of it. But for his own personality, to guide against extremism of some followers in reverencing him, and going out of hand to worship him as god, he was only guarding his own personality, reason he warned: “Do not exaggerate my position in praise of me as Christians did with the son of Mary, for I am only the slave of Allah, so call me the slave of Allah and His messenger.” And of course many great Islamic scholars agreed that all prostrations cannot be tagged shirk, if that is so, then why attacking it?

Now, when we compare the above inferences with direct detail and emphasis with which Allah and Prophet order respect for parents, one will see which one is superior between the positions.

Allah says: “…Give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is your return” Q31:14.

The Prophet said: “Allah’s pleasure is in what is pleasing to parents and Allah’s displeasure is in what is displeasing to parents.”

Allah says: “And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say, ‘my Lord bestow on them your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young”Q17:24.

“He is not one of us, he that respect not our old…” said the Prophet!

The fact that all forms of bending of respect to man is not the same with submission in worshipping Allah and the number of limbs involved in greeting and showing respect to one parents, leaders and teachers are far far less to that of Allah worship, and the postures are different are evidence. If that satisfies parents and teachers, then it satisfies Allah according to the above hadith. Why then should a family be in problem and leader and followers at logger head on what Allah and His Prophet have left out?

Ordinarily, in some cases greeting cannot be respect, and if not, how are we going to show respect to our superior and how would a child show respect and humble submission to his parents especially when he falls into error? Is it the same as we address our friends or mate and colleagues?

In some culture when a child commits error or misbehaves against parents or elder, the final act of the appeasement for the parent or reprimand the child, is to ask the child to kneel down or prostrate for the parent or elder or teacher and say sorry. And a very similar case was reported in an incident where ‘Abubakr asked the Prophet an offensive question. When he saw the Prophet countenance and anger he knelt down to beg him.’ The Prophet did not rebuke him for that!

“Our Lord let not our hearts deviate after you have guided us and grant us mercy from You. Truly You are the Bestower”Q3: 8.